Mama and PHCN

My mother is fierce, she is one of those women who will stand in front of a Danfo driver who outweighs her by 200 pounds and is about 6’5 and make him cry (my mother is like 5ft nothing and I have no idea what she weighs, but she’s kinda small), on the streets in front of his driver mates. So when PHCN decided to hold power for 2 weeks, (immediately after she had returned from the market with food in the freezer), my mother snapped.

Now my mother is not one to leave the house, she actually hates the streets of Lagos and though she complains about being in the house all day, is not inclined to venture past her immediate area. So it is unlucky for the PHCN office that they are actually just outside our estate.

So this particular day after PHCN had promised to bring the light back and did not, my mother (bless her soul) snapped. Now I don’t mean a little snap, the woman went ballistic as she watched her precious food sit in a freezer that was now only powered by the generator, and she watched diesel reduce in said generator. My mother went to her room, got on her battle gear, (Ankara skirt and blouse, with her scarf tied rakishly) and went to do battle.

She arrived at the office, walking through our unpaved and unsidewalked estate, (which only served to increase her anger at the injustice of Nigeria), marched into the PHCN office, and did the PHCN official feel her size 4 1/2.

She started by explaining to them why their incompetence was an embarrassment to the nation, why they are an example of uninformed and corrupt bureaucracy, and when they dared to suggest she donate N100,000 to the replacement of the transformer
(the 5th to have ‘blown’ up in as many months) my mother switched to Yoruba on them, and cursed them out. No she literally went old school and ‘sheped’.

I wish I had a camera because by the time she had finished they were begging her; even the policemen in the area came and pleaded with PHCN to return our light, which they did, for about half a second.

When I asked my mother why, why why she would put herself in such a dangerous situation, she gave her standard answer, ‘is it too much to ask for this country to work, if I were in England I would at least have light in my house, even if it means I would be cold and alone’, sniff, na wa for this country o!!!