The NYSC are back with their wahala August 06, 2007

So as I am sure you are aware, I have not updated the blog about NYSC for sometime because it has just been the routine of hell, so there was not reason to get all hot under the collar, but I had to write this one.

Why you ask yourself, well you would never in your life, guess what they did to me now, believe me it is like a bad industrial video about lint, I know stupid and senseless. For those of you who have and have not read the blog, you would be aware that I am doing my NYSC and as such am always financially strapped and depend on both my wages from my job and my NYSC stipend. You will also be aware that because the NYSC loves us so much, our stipend is paid at least a month in arrears. So what happened this time you ask yourself, well, simply put, the NYSC, stole my money!! um uh they did!!!

Let me explain, my stipend is meant to go in to my account at approximately the middle of every month. Now my bank being MY BANK messes up and does not pay until the 3rd week. I have started to get used to it, I budget for that week when all my fellow Corpershuns have gotten their loot and I look on enviously, but this month things went a little askew.

The month had been very expensive for me, by the 3rd week I was broke, I had spent some unbudgeted monies on Princess Farts A Lot (more on that later) and all I had left on me was N500. Knowing my bank and their foolishness, I waited till Wednesday to go collect my money, only to be told on arrival that I had not been paid for the month.

My face was a work of art, the first thing out of my mouth was, ‘They haven’t paid, are you sure’, they confirmed they were. It would seem that while the NYSC had paid my friend and other Corpers, mine was the only hold out in the bank. So why was mine the only one left out? They of course were non responsive or the wiser, (customer service in naija should really be worked on), and all they could say was that nothing was showing up on their system regarding my money. They then suggested that I either come back on Friday or go to Surulere, (main secretariat).

Now since I had only N500 on me the chances of me going to Surulere and getting back to Lekki was near impossible, I decided that since I had a lift for Friday, wait till then, they would have paid me, right, i mean why shouldn't they?

Come Friday having managed to scrimp and starve myself half to death so that I can still have some money, (by the way i must have looked good because everybody was complimenting the wide eyed look of hunger as,'baby you so fine', ejits, it was hunger!!) I went to the bank, only to be told the money had still not arrived, my stomach dropped. The look on my face would have made a grown man cry I’m sure, I was so distraught, angry, lost and hungry (remember the scrimping and starving).

Feeling dejected, on arrival, at the secretariat, I did not even go to my CD, my first stop was the accounts office where I explained my situation, and they basically said that the reason was as simple as I hadn’t signed some form that they did not give me. So like a good little girl, I toddled off to sign said form, I returned to ask when I would now get paid, and they told me that the woman who could give me the answer was not yet in, this was 10.30am (civil servants in Nigeria sure are enjoying life oh). So I waited and waited, and between my CD and her frequent absences from the office I did not get to see her until 3.45pm, when she was already half out the door.

Being the dogmatic sort of person that I am I insisted on telling her what has happening, and she told me the real the reason I had not been paid. The reason according to her was that my bank had been changed. Yes I’m not kidding; even I could not make this crap up. This woman told me that my bank account had been changed without my permission, and I had not been informed of this change because, until I came to ask they did not see a reason to let me know. The funny thing (if you are a fan of irony) is that I am not the only person who this has happened to, at least 500 other people where facing the hold. At first I was so shocked by this that I did not ask why this had been done, but when I came to my senses, I was informed that someone had complained to the state coordinator they had decided to change the banks and the reason nobody was informed is that they figured we would eventually find out. How thoughtful of them.

I am tempted to sue the NYSC, but this would be an exercise in futility I have been told, because, well this is naija, so i just withdrew the money from my bank account and went to buy sorely needed food.

Sometimes life does not hand you lemons for lemonades as much as pelt you with all kind of crap that you cannot salvage.

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