The Pregnant Man

When I heard on that Oprah had a pregnant man on her show, I was ecstatic, now, now, now, men can experience the backache, headaches, swollen ankles and nine months of carrying something about 8 pounds on your bladder, and not least, actually having to give birth. Damn a woman’s life ain’t easy (I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ve heard stories). So imagine my dismay when I read the story that it wasn’t quite as kosher as I thought.

The story it seems is that a transgender man (was a woman now is a man), decided to be impregnated because his wife had a hysterectomy and could not carry a child. He it seems when he was changing sex decided not to remove his female sexual organ and reproductive tract.

Don’t get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with being transgender, hey whatever works for you (I personally have no wish to be a guy, I mean 24 hours a day grabbing your crotch does not seem like fun to me. Besides we get better shoes), but I was so disappointed because I thought I could be saved the hell of child birth pain and stretch marks (I know I’ve not had kids, but I’ve heard from good sources that it bites the big one).

So imagine how excited, ecstatic and absolutely off the wall I was when I found out that men could be impregnated, without becoming women. Yes it seems that a fertilsed egg can be put in the stomach lining of the man, then and for an umbilical cord attach a hose/ pipe to the stomach, of course hormones need to be taken, but what is a little bit of body altering chemistry between friends/ or partners. (They tried it on chimps and they got preggers).

Now I would never force man to get pregnant, but if the option was there that they would be preggers, men might be less inclined to say ‘No baby lets let the rubber go tonight’. If they had to carry the baby, and deal with painful and rubbery nipples maybe they will not be so eager for sex 2 weeks after birthing. On the off chance that your man wants to try the getting pregnant thing, a few things to bear in mind:

He would probably make a whole deal of fuss as the ‘first man to ever carry a child’. Ignore it, women have been doing it forever and we are still around. Suck it up

He would want to have a 24 months maternity leave to recover from the traumatic process, and want you at home to take care of him. Say no, if women can survive on 6 weeks maternity so can he

Should he complain that he can’t see his feet, pat him on the back and say….. you don’t look at all like a whale to me baby, just a little oil tanker