Catch me if you can/ Stuck in the middle………. Whatever !! Pt 1

‘I have turned a corner and become a woman’ or was it …………. ‘It was like crossing a bridge’, either way when I watched that scene in Silk (book by Shirley Conran, film by I don’t know but it had Pheobe Cates playing weird vampish baby girl) I always wondered what the heck they were talking about. I was young then, but I later figured out that they were talking about sex. Bad analogy for what it feels like to have sex for the first time, but hey everybody is entitled to their own opinion.

For me, this is not about the first time I had sex, it has to do with what seems to be my overriding race (can you call it that?) to catch a bloke, one particular bloke, my bloke, the one that I’d know when I see, the one that ‘completes me’ (nerts to that, just one that I can stand for more than 5 seconds would do).

I can’t say that I remember much of my childhood, but I do remember the first time I did something so I could impress a guy, I think I was about 5.

At school that day I was sitting in class, talking to a friend of mine (he was male) and this girl (who I chose to see as a ‘ho in training) came up to us, sat down next to him and asked him if he wanted to see her pants. I remember being shocked not because she had asked the question, but by the quickness in which my ‘friend’ turned his head and said yes.

So ‘ho in training got up pulled up her dress and said ‘look at my pants, look at my pants’, not to be overshadowed, I promptly got up and did the same. What happened after this should have warned me of what my future with guys was going to be because at that exact moment the teacher walked in (I know she was standing just waiting for me to do the pants thing) and promptly gave me some sharp slaps on the exposed buttocks. After this, I reconsidered my friendship with the guy, but I did see him suddenly take an interest in ‘ho in training.

The next incident that comes to mind about my life and sex was when I discovered Mills and Boons at 7 or 8. I didn’t really understand some of the words (thank God for dictionaries) but I got the general idea of what sex was all about and the results it was meant to produce. So when at 10 a fellow parishioner (he must have been at least 20!!) in my pastors house pulled me onto his lap to play and as I was reading I felt something pushing at my butt and his hand found his way under my top I knew to stand up quickly and move very quickly away, before I could say anything, he jumped up and ran away, (I never saw him in church after that).

After that, my life became a series of studying and trying to pass exams and going off to boarding house. In boarding house, I saw a lot of my seniors sneaking off into corners with the senior boys, and heard rumors of pregnancies and abortions, but nothing that affected me (I was curiously immune to the crush bug, until recently it seems) I was just uninvolved and unconcerned.

This was until the day that one of the boys who lived with his mother on the school premises, Sidney I think his name was, started taking an unusual amount of interest in me, and started to call me duck, because he said I waddled. I didn’t think much of it, until one weekend we had gone for a walk with some friends and suddenly I was alone with him and he wanted me to touch him. Where I hear you ask, well it does not take a genius to figure out where in this story, I said no, he tried to force my hand on it and I screamed and ran I was 12. I kept away from him after that day; in fact I went out of my way to avoid him, luckily I was not in the school for long, a great voyage awaited me…….