Catch me if you can/ Stuck in the middle………. Whatever !! Pt 3 final installment

After University for my BA then on to my MA, where I got the opportunity to go to New Zealand, and OH MY GOD!!! The men and yes they were MEN were foine. Beautiful, burnished brown skin (I was totally into the Maori men) and many tattooed with these beautiful scrollwork that sometimes started on their faces taking up half of it, then working its way down their bodies, their arms, torsos, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was enamored, in love. I had to be particularly as when I landed and went through customs, one of the officials turned to me and said

‘What are you here for, business or pleasure’,

I replied ‘a bit of both I hope’, and he said

‘Well for pleasure, here’s my number’.

Now I know that was a line that he had probably used on a million women, but after getting down from a tin can that had been in the air for 22 hours and feeling just a bit rough, a man offering you pleasure would turn your head too!! I didn’t call him, but NZ was an experience in itself.

Prostitution being legal in NZ (you would wonder why it is that all the places I have visited have legal prostitution, I don’t know why, but I also have to wonder…………. I have also been to America, Seville, and South Korea so really not everywhere) I was faced with more than one offer as to my ‘willingness’.

One occasion that really freaked me out was on the second day I arrived and on my little walkabout getting to know Auckland I was literally accosted on the street by this ooooooollllllllllllllddddddddddd guy, who told me that he knew me (he did not!!!! I only arrived in the city the day before) that he wants to spend time with me (yeah like I would let that happen) and that I had to have his phone number (what for, dude was at least a hundred years with very bad teeth, and maybe I should have done an Anna Nicole, but while I do like older men, that would have been too insane but considering my current financial position, would it really have been a bad idea I now wonder).

When I refused, he practically dragged me (practical smactical, he dragged me) into this bank and got a pen and paper to give me his number then when he asked what I was doing next and I replied ‘shopping’. Dude followed me into the next shop I went into (it was a vintage clothes shop, NZ is fab for vintage clothes, you have to go check it out) and asked if he could stay with me while I browsed and shopped and maybe get me some lingerie (ewwwwwwwwwwww, maybe I should have said yes and then drained him of all his money, but I just arrived in town, I had to take a bit of time to get to that point, damn me for my eww factor) when I refused and blatantly ignored him he finally left.

Other than the odd experience here and there, NZ made me want to return, at least for one more visit (I have yet to make this trip so if you want to send me money for it, my account number will soon be posted). Not long afterwards, I made the pilgrimage back to Nigeria, except I guess if you return for good it’s not a pilgrimage it’s more like a jack!!

Now back to the issue, I never had to run to catch these guys, in fact, from the moment I took interest in guys, they have been the ones it seems looking to catch me, but my return to Nigeria threw me for a curve because while the men chased me (and boy do they chase) I also started to have crushes on these men ( I mean should I be getting crushes at my age, I am the grand old age of ……… what the hell, either way I’m crushing on one man in particular, now).

Now being a rational 21st Century woman (let me rephrase WOMAN) I took it in my stride, I had asked out men before, it followed the same principle, and it worked. Other times the men chased (both married and single), sometimes I ran, other times I let myself be caught, but I discovered a twist in the tale recently, I have a CRUSH.

Oh the humiliation, the pain the mind boggling stupidity of it all.

This man is fine, who to be honest in the future I will probably forget and be like WHO?!!! But for now he is haunting me, and due to some complicated, convoluted thingys (my life, my eff ups, and my fear because I’ve not liked someone like this before, its crazy), I cannot tell if he likes me, if he’s ambivalent or can’t stand me, I don’t know, but I have been subtle, I only told him I have a crush on him, and he said ‘HE WAS FLATTERED’ (this had to be capitalized because WTF?!!! Flattered, I laid my pride at the altar of his ego and all he could say was I’m flattered!!!!!) but it seems despite this obvious eff up on his part, I’ve regressed to 16 and I can’t get over this crush.

So the question now is, should I pursue, should I make myself unavailable, or should I just take a deep breath and forget about it (but what if he is the father of my unborn children, then I deprive the world of my obviously gorgeous kids) this is getting all too American high school and stupid, but I’m stuck in the middle alone, when I would obviously LOVE to be stuck in the middle with him!