ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS A LITTLE R.E.S.P.E.C.T!

At what stage can a woman expect respect from men?

When do Nigerian men actually practice what they preach?

And why are all men automatically defensive of women?

The impetus for these questions began after an incident that happened to me recently. A few months ago, I was seconded to another company by my office. My new ‘office’ and colleagues were challenging, but, I dug in and did what my mother taught me.

My mother always says that when things seem impossible, that is when you find reserves of strength and battle on. So following such advice I kept to my job despite all the challenges that could be found, but one incident left me so angry and disillusioned that I am still now months afterwards reeling from it and it has coloured my view of men even more. Which is a shame!

My role in the company I was working with involved collecting, dispensing and accounting for money that was brought in and being the person I am, I am scrupulous in making sure the right amount went in the right hands.

This being the case, I shocked when one morning, I was accosted my one of my ‘colleagues’, claiming I owed him N4000, from a payment he made that I had not paid him for.

Now don’t get me wrong, money is money, but the things going on in my life requires more that N4000, so when he started attacking me verbally shouting that I owed him this amount, I asked him to come see my book to see that all monies I owed him had been paid.

After looking at the books and not seeing the ‘supposed’ money that he was owed, he proceeded to continue calling me:

Fucking Useless
A Fucking Useless Woman
A Fucking Woman

All in view of another ‘colleague’ who happens to be a Nigerian man. I got so angry I walked off, because if I had done what was on my mind, he would have been pulling parts of his body from various sections of his anatomy, but my mama taught me better so I walk away to go cool down and plan my next move.

Following this cooling off period, I went to speak to my ‘boss’ and tell him that I would not continue working in such an environment, when telling him of what had happened, the potty mouthed ‘colleague’ proceeded to restart his insults in the above vein, with neither my ‘boss’ or another male ‘colleague’ saying anything until I started to walk out the door. It was at this point that the ‘boss’ deigned to reply, his response was ‘we’ve been working on this project for a while it would not do for you to leave in the middle of it’, he still did not tell off this other ‘colleague’. So I walked off and went to speak with my real boss, as in the one that seconded me to the ‘new’ office.

Now while my boss was upset on my behalf, his anger reduced somewhat what he was told that the reason there was an incident was that I was ‘emotional’. See me see idiot o!! Now the shocking thing was not so much that it was said, of course they will protect their own, the shocking thing was that it was said by the Nigerian male ‘colleague’.

The story gets even more convoluted, as this Nigerian man is of the class ‘I don’t accept any shit from anybody, and nobody should ever insult a woman much less a Nigerian woman like that’, curious lack of involvement was stunning!!!!

Following the event Mr Nigeria no trousers, was asked to give a report of what had happened, and he refused!

YEP!!!! you could have knocked me over with a feather when he had the gall to turn to me and say he was not going to write the report as he might have to work with the other F******g colleague in the future and he did not want to rock the boat.

He said this even as turned to me and acknowledged the fact that our ‘colleague’ was wrong and he spoke to him about it, and asked him to apologise. My so called boss on the project ran like the little p***y he is and refused to also make a statement for the same reason. By the way f*****g ‘colleague’ has still not apologised till today!!!

I have a lot of things that makes me very upset about this story but my current beef is as follows:

Why when I am insulted as a woman does a man, any man feel that the only way he can gain control is by going down to base insults?

Why is it that when there are problems involving men and women, to justify their nasty arse behaviour, women are labelled emotional?

Why is it that the same Nigerian man who would swear on heaven and earth that if such a thing happens in his presence he would physically assault the man, becomes such wimps when actually faced with such situations?

And why is it that men would put money in front of their friends, family, and mates?

These are questions I have on my mind which if I should answer in my current state of mind will reflect very negative answers, but I do wonder about these questions and the possible answers that come from it.

Aretha Franklin asked for a little respect, and she was right to ask for it, but should we have to ask for it because we are women, why can it not be afforded to us for being as good as if not better in some situations than men? Or must I become either a bitch, a whore or a mother to get my RESPECT!!!!