BUM

Please don’t be a bum, please don’t be a bum, I remembered telling myself the second after he asked me out and I walked away. It was an unusual meeting that first occurred 6 months earlier and of which there was only one encounter before our new meeting, so for him to ask me out was odd.

But I have enough faith in my power to attract (sometimes) so I dismissed it.

To a point

Either way, I continued down the road repeating the litany in my head.

Please don’t be a bum, please don’t be a bum.

Of course as I was saying it I knew he had to be a bum, why else would that be the first thing that occurred to me.

But even if he was a bum, he was really only a half bum, not a full one, so that was kinda alright, he was trainable. At least he had a job, of sorts, owned his own car, a jalopy but he did pay for it himself, and he had asked me to a nice, not razz place, so that helped, on the half bit.

On the flip side, he still lived with his parents at 30 something, a big no no, and seemed to spend a lot of time partying with friends.

On the other hand (do I have any hands left?) I liked him.

I liked the way he spoke, his thinking and I would admit his yellow colour.

I’ve not been one to look at someone and like them because they are light or dark, but I liked his colour,
light but still dark, like me, but different.

I decided that well a half bum was better than nothing; I had yet to meet a fully developed man who was not only half of something I wanted, so I went on the date.

The date was fun, a lively place, with nice people, and he paid for the food and drinks, appeasing my mind some.

After all, a bum wouldn’t pay.

We had a wonderful time talking, laughing and for some reason, finding each others hands under the table.

There were some odd occurrences to the night though.

For one thing he took me to a place where all his friends met and introduced me as his ‘missus’……..

Hold up.

Me a missus!!

I’d not even decided if I liked him enough to go out on a second date, and I’m missus.

OK.

Other than that, the night progressed splendidly and I kissed him.

Whoooooooooooooo! Hoooooooooooooo

Boy knew what to do with his mouth.

We continued to ravish each other’s mouth until we were rudely interrupted by the police.

And they were not subtle.

‘Oga, na wa for u o, na so you dey eat ‘er mouth like say you no go see am agin’. Wetin ‘appen?’

I looked away, this was not how I had seen the first kiss happening, but that’s what you get for kissing on the road at 3am.

After that he called me everyday and every evening after work, he’d come to see me, and we’d go into his car and talk, and talk, and kiss and kiss.

For some reason, kissing him was so easy…….

I liked it!

Soon the kisses turned steamier, literally, we saw steam rising from us once, as we touched and rubbed

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy was blessed with his mouth and he knew how to use it.

The car became the quintessential passion wagon